Chennai Express

Whoa buddy! Where do I start with this movie?
Ok let me be positve and start off with the good things about the movie. It stars Sharukh Khan and I think that's the end of the positives.

This movie was seriously bad. I'm not really familiar with red chillies so I can't really compare this to their other works, all I can do is go off of this movie and I must say that if all their other movies are like this then I'm not looking forward to upcoming films.

The dancing, acting, story, music, just everything was painfully bad and it wasn't one of the movies where you watched the whole thing and afterwards you say to your friend "hey, Nisha yeah I didn't really like it". No, it's one of those movies where you say "oh my god Nisha! I'm 20 minutes in and I want to gouge my own eyes out of my head!"

I truly wish I could I unhear that stupid song that had the words "booty shake, booty shake" in the chorus. They tried to be clever and reference a few of Khan's more famous works. "My name is Khan" and "Dilwale Dulhania le jenge" make scene cameos throughout the film but instead of making me feel all cutesy and laugh with recognition. It made me smack myself in the face and say "I can't believe they just did that!?"

So I suffer through the whole movie hoping that it will have some glimmer of hope of getting better but it only gets worst and I'm thinking to myself "how is that even possible? How can it get worst?" Enter epic fight scene from the book of absurdity. Khan gets his ass handed to him by the giant brute of a guy who uses his head to smash the carefully lined up food stalls that are surrounding their carefully constructed fight circle. I just can't like it. I tried really hard because I'm a big Sharukh fan but all I could think was "why Sharukh?? Why?"

So please don't put this in your queue. Actually steer clear of it if you see it. It might rub off on better movies. Oh and wtf was with the little person in the forest??!'
Article by the Diner's very own Bollywood reporter Kiva Ashby

Main, Meri Patni Aur Woh

Starring:
Rajpal Yadav 
Rituparna Sengupta 
Varun Badola 
Kay Kay Menon

Not a very recent movie but definitely one to put in your Netflix queue.  Main Meri Patni Aur Woh loosely translates into “Love comes in all sizes" and I’m not sure if this would count as a traditional Bollywood movie, it is in Hindi and takes place in Lucknow India, but there are no singing and dancing scenes.

To a lot of Americans I think this would be a good transition movie, for those that aren’t a fan of too much singing and dancing, because story wise, it's great.

We’ve got an insecure short man played by Rajpal Yadav who marries a beautiful and quite tall woman Rituparna Sengupta. Even though Yadav's character is financially stable and a genuinely good person, he cant seem to forget his, literal, shortcomings and, don’t get me wrong, I cant really blame him.
Usually short men can develop a Napoleonic personality, always feeling that they have to make up for their lack of height with flashy cars, lots of money and a generally aggressive attitude but, in this case, he’s more suspicious of every man around him. After he marries Segupta's character Veena, their honeymoon period is short lived.  His best friend Saleem, played by Varun Badola, is suddenly too friendly, the rickshaw driver, who has always looked out for him, starts hanging around too often, offering his wife too many rides and the icing on the cake, Veena's childhood friend Akash played by Kay Kay Menon just happens to move next door.   Akash is tall dark and handsome (well kind of) and Veena and Akash pick up their friendship where it left off, which consists of playful hitting and copious amounts of laughter over inside jokes. Obviously, Mitilesh feels left out, he feels threatened by Akash and tries every way possible to separate him from Veena but his efforts are futile because, after all, the guy lives right next door.
So, in the end, he gives up on the supposed inevitability of the two of them falling in love,  he begins suspecting his wife of cheating on him with Akash and even follows her to prove his suspicions. There really isn’t any concrete evidence that she’s cheating on him but his insecurities get the best of him.

Rajpal Yadav does a great job of portraying an insecure yet loveable husband.  You can’t help but root for him because he’s so tragically cute.  I don’t think this movie is meant to be a comedy, but I laughed on numerous occasions.  When he gets pushed in the dirt by a gang of young guys I think it’s supposed to be sad but boy oh boy was I laughing. I think I’ve watched this movie at least 20 times and what makes it especially unique is that there aren’t crazy big stars in this film. The story and acting is so good that it doesn’t need a name to make it memorable.

Article by the Diner's very own Bollywood reporter Kiva Ashby

Meri Dad Ki Maruti

Starring 
Saqib Saleem 
Rhea Chakraborty 
Ram Kapoor 
Prabal Panjabi 

I’ve got a pretty active imagination and a very ticklish funny bone, so a Bollywood comedy is always welcomed. American humor and Indian humor are very different. Right now, what is big in America hasn’t really caught on in India…yet. The closest Bollywood comedy that parallels our penchant for uncomfortable situations and all out crass humor was Delhi Belly. I’ll leave that commentary for its own separate review. 
Meri Dad Ki Maruti simply translates to “My Dads Maruti” or more easily understood “My Dads car” They stress the type if car because in India, Maruti (Suzuki over here in the states) is a pretty sought after car. I would compare it to maybe a Lexus.
Anyway, the plot is actually very simple: Middle class loafer type kid wants to show off to an airhead hot girl on his college campus. His perfect opportunity to bag this bodaciously hot babe is to impress her with a brand new red hot maruti Irdiga, fully loaded and ready to roll. However it’s not meant to roll for him as it was bought for his sister as a wedding present, but we know how it goes. He sneaks it out of the locked garage 3 days before the wedding to take Jazzleen (Rhea Chakraborty) out on a date. The car gets “stolen” while being valet parked and the madness ensues. 

Newcomer and leading guy Saqib Saleem does a pretty fair job of acting but nothing, really, to write home about. His looks, of course, are above subpar because, just like Hollywood, sex sells and talent comes after. A model himself, Saleem is tall and handsome and of course he has a completely toned and hairless chest (yeah, that’s natural!) so it’s only fitting that he was picked.
For me, the real star of this wasn’t Saqib Saleem or his equally sexy, yet moderately talented, love interest Rhea Chakraborty, it's actually the best friend character played by Prabal Panjabi. He is not a model (actually he’s quite short (5’ 8”??) but his performance made the film that more funny. Great facial expressions and he really made me laugh.

The best part of the movie to me was the scene where his sister puts on this sexy dance for her fiancé and, boy, is the dance NSFW. Actually it’s not suitable for anyone with eyes! Its hilariously over the top sexual inuendos and quirky gyrations poke fun at traditional bollywood dance scenes.

Lighthearted fun that had a somewhat predictable ending. If you’ve got some free time then give it a shot but not a movie that you need to put in your Netflix queue anytime soon.

Article by the Diner's very own Bollywood reporter Kiva Ashby